SURPRISE!

We are so excited to share the news. WE ARE EXPECTING! Can you even believe it? We are going to have a little baby. Ahh!! I am jumping for joy. We are getting the best little early Christmas blessing ever. This is such happy exciting news. Where do I even begin?

The first thing I want to address is how far along I am and why we decided to share now rather than later. It is very early in the pregnancy, way earlier than most would dare announce. I believe that I am somewhere around the seven week mark, but I can’t be completely sure. (I will elaborate on that in a second.) As you may already know, I am no stranger to miscarriage. Two times, we lost sweet babies to go be with the Lord before we were ever even able to share with the world what was going on. In the past I did not really talk about it much. I wanted to get through it as quick as possible and talk about it as little as possible. After those heartbreaks, I was certain that I would wait until at least the second trimester to share the news with the world. However, now that I am pregnant, I feel totally different about everything.

This time around, not only do I want to share right away, I need to. Given my history, we need all of the prayers we can get for this baby to stay with us. I totally believe in the power of prayer, and that’s it why we chose to share right away. Pray for us every chance you get. Previously, as soon as I found out I withdrew myself from others only to realize that it was the worst thing to do. I never felt more alone, and I do not want to feel that way again. You never have to go through anything alone, and most of the time, no one wants you to. I want all the tip, support, and wisdom I can get.

Also, even if I had no prior history with miscarriage, if you know me, then you know how much becoming a mother scares me. I think it is the biggest fear I have ever had. So, in my times of worry and fear and doubt I need people who can stand in the gap for me. So please join us in praying for our little spud to stay growing strong and healthy. Please pray for me to be fearless as well.

I am a little bit of a control freak, I have to admit. I like to plan everything, so I feel that I am so shocked at myself that I am preggers and not really for sure exactly how far along I am. (Like I said, I think I am about 7 weeks.) To be honest, I am so shocked that I am pregnant and it wasn’t planned down to the t. This is a great reminder that I am the furthest thing from in control of anything. This is totally the Lord’s work.

I keep track of everything to do with my body on my phone. I use an app to keep up with my cycle and ovulating. Well, recently, I got a new phone and completely lost four whole years worth of my information. For some reason, it didn’t transfer over. When I got the new one, I re-downloaded the app and just put a guess of what I (thought I) remembered my last cycle to be, and apparently, I was wrong. Whoopsie. Or maybe the app was wrong, either way; I now have the best little surprise ever. Isn’t it funny how the Lord orchestrates every little detail.

I decided to take a test after I was a few days late, and the results were somewhat inconclusive. Jereme and I couldn’t tell if we were just imagining the tiniest faint line, or if there really was one. I waited a day and took it again, and there was no mistake that time. It was still faint but definitely positive. Faint positives make me nervous, because in the past it was an indicator that the pregnancy hormone wasn’t as strong as it should have been. My progesterone didn’t rise fast enough in the past. I waited a few more days and took another. I think I was in shock. The lines were even darker.

I called the doctor right away to get my HCG/Progesterone levels checked. Thankfully, my starting numbers looked much better than before, and the comparison numbers more than doubled on the HCG. However, my progesterone fluctuated down from 16 to 15. Normal progesterone at around 5 weeks should be 11-20, but the want to see you closer to 20. Below 10 is not good. Since I was right in between, they left it up to me whether or not I wanted to be supplemented for it. I thought it would be best to get it just in case.

I did not realize how much the previous miscarriages would affect me during pregnancy. I would be lying if I said that at first I was completely trusting God. Right now I am totally okay, but at first I was a wreck. I was terrified every time I would use the restroom thinking that If I looked down I might see it end. Every tiny flutter or pain spelled doom to me. I was panicking because there was no morning sickness. It was even hard for me to let myself get excited about it, thinking that it could end at any moment. (It still doesn’t quite feel real.) The more I thought about it the more I panicked. I was driving myself insane, to the point that I was begging the Lord to help me though the fear. And HE DID. HE shifted my heart and my mind. I realized that this was all happening because he allowed it to, and the outcome is totally in his hands. I either trust in him, or I don’t. So, I decided to trust him with our baby. I would do the best I could on my part, but ultimately he is in control. I felt immediately relieved when I gave it to God. I mean His hands are the best place to lay you problems. Aren’t they? My stress and anxiety went away. It really is such a simple fix to any problem you face. Just give it to God.

I bet you thought I was going to be giving you an update on our house situation. The joke was on us too. Ha. There is no update, other than the fact that our need for a new one just doubled. I still am not worried in the slightest. I know that we are totally safe in our fathers hands. He knows our needs and He will provide. But, if you could, please be praying about that situation too.

Thank you so much for reading this far, and sharing in the news with us. I am so excited to share this new journey with you. I thank you in advance for every prayer that you say for us and our new little growing baby. Our first ultrasound is on the 20th of this month. Especially pray for us then. I will, of course, keep you update. Thank you so much for stopping by.

Love Always,

Sarah